Blessed Assurance

There's a Gospel song entitled "Blessed Assurance". The first few words of this song are very powerful. It starts off saying, "blessed assurance, Jesus is mine". Now let's look at the meaning of these two words. Blessed means worthy of worship; holy. But blessed also means bringing happiness or pleasure. Now, turning our attention to assurance, we find out that it means freedom from doubt; having self-confidence. So, this song is basically saying that we can be happy, have freedom from doubt, experience pleasure and have self-confidence in knowing that Jesus belongs to us. Doesn't that sound wonderful? I mean who wouldn't want to have all these marvelous feelings all at the same time about someone special? So why is it then that it is so hard for us to have blessed assurance in our relationships? I feel that the reason may lay in the fact that we humans are always doing one of two things: Disappointing or being Disappointed. In my past, I have had a few relationships that I thought were for sure the "real deal". With each one, I started off with blessed assurance. Long story short, I was disappointed and am no longer with any of these guys. As they continued to have blessed assurance in me, I was lied to, cheated on, cursed out, insulted, held against my will and yet all the while, they had assurance that I wouldn't bring them the same harm. We should all be so lucky as to have blessed assurance in our relationships. After someone has been hurt and disappointed repeatedly, how do you get them to experience happiness in having freedom from doubt? Truth is, you can't!!! There is absolutely nothing you can do about someone who is having a hard time letting go of the negative things that has happened in their past. If anything, all we can do is continue to be there as best we can and keep reassuring him/her that we love them. They have to be ready and willing to let go and let God take control and give them the courage to have blessed assurance in someone again. As we all know, humans are vessels of imperfection. Allowing ourselves to have blessed assurance in one of these specimens is a horrifying thought. But, in order for a relationship to progress and be a success we need assurance to keep us moving forward. It's like when you're exercising and you feel like giving up but then you think about how it benefits your health and your physical appearance so you give yourself a pep talk and you complete the workout. That's what assurance does for a relationship. Just when it gets rough and you feel like giving up, a little romantic gesture or quick pep talk ("baby, I love you so much", "honey no one makes me feel like you", "I don't want anyone else but you", or "I need you") can get your man/woman confident enough to keep on holding on with you. I must say though, not everyone is worthy of your blessed assurance. Hence the reason why we have break ups and heartache. It is wise to be picky and choose who to put your freedom from doubt and confidence in. Men and women alike can crush your spirits. But, when you find someone who may be worth you opening your heart to (and that means someone who can drink of your cup, not just an attractive someone) then give blessed assurance a try. If someone claims to love you, they'll do what is necessary to make you happy so that you may rest easy because you are free from doubt in your relationship (and vice versa). Life's about chances. There are no guarantees but, "you will never know love unless you surrender to it". Here's hoping for the best! Luv, MeLi

Can You Drink of My Cup

"Oh my goodness girl he is FINE", says one woman to her friend. "Damn, she look good", says one man to his boys. Obviously, there is this thing in life called physical attraction. The outer appearance (what our eyes can actually see/prove) is what draws us to a person first. There's nothing wrong with admitting that your mate's "assets" was what drew you near before you knew him/her. It's only natural. But, what happens after we meet that beautiful specimen? What happens after we introduce ourselves? Believe it or not, unless you're just in it to get a little action, the physical becomes a little less important. We begin to want to discover what this person is all about. So many relationships are based on physical appearances. But, if you care to notice, these relationships take a turn for the worse nearly every time. Just because someone is sexy on the outside does not make them just as sexy on the inside. Now, I'm not saying go out and find someone you're not physically attracted to and give them a chance. Like I noted before, there's nothing wrong with your mate's assets being the first thing you noticed. Having a weakness for your girl's booty or being turned on by your man's abs is healthy. But, it's what comes packaged in those gorgeous shells that matters most. When you enter into a relationship, you are telling this person that he/she has the potential to be your husband/wife. Well, at least, I hope that is the intention. A lot of people use relationships as a sport. But, there are things that we should look for when it's time to look beyond the shell. Of course we learn about their likes/dislikes, fears/confidences, highs/lows, etc. But most importantly, you want to know if this person is unselfish, able to compromise, able to communicate (not argumentative), whether or not they feed off of drama (cause that brings stress and stress can shorten the life span), whether or not he/she is trustworthy and most importantly you want to know if he/she can handle who you are as an individual. It's like in Matthew 20:22 (the Bible), when Jesus asked his disciples if they were "...able to drink of the cup that I shall drink of..." Just take a minute to ask yourself and then ask your mate can he/she really drink from the same cup? Can they handle being with you and the type of person you truly are? Can they handle life with you when you are up just as well as when you're down? Can they stay strong when finances are at its lowest just as well as when its at an all time high? Can they support your dreams? Can they forget about their needs from time to time and pay attention to yours? Can they stand with you when the world is against you? Can they still hold you and tell you they love you even when you've made a mistake? Can You Drink of My Cup? Relationships can be hard but once understood that if you argue, fuss, fight, cheat, lie before you even say "I Do" eight times out of ten after the ceremony, things won't change. Sometimes we fall for people and it doesn't work. But look at it as a learning experience and move on. Perhaps, God has just been preparing you for the "One" who is to come, if he/she isn't with you right now. Believe that you deserve someone who won't bring you harm, stress, sadness, and who can take you as your are. Everyone can improve over time, but make sure you are loved for who you are now and not who he/she is expecting you to be. "Can You Drink of My Cup?" Here's Hoping for the Best! Luv, MeLi

Never Too Old

As a kid, I remember my mother reading Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes nearly every night. I looked forward to it. The way that she would take on the roles of each character was truly amazing. She would change her tone of voice, her facial expressions, and even on occasion her body position. She put her all into it. I would love it most when she made up her own stories. I recently saw the movie "Bedtime Stories", and it touched my heart. It really had my undivided attention. I absolutely love to read and make up stories. My mother is probably the reason why I love to let the kid inside of me, come out to play. Just put me in a room full of art supplies, fabric, books, and music and I can pretty much guarantee that you will be amazed at the things I come up with. I am an artist at heart with a vivid imagination. I feel that once people become adults, they lose that magic that they once had as a child. Life's worries, stresses, and headaches get the best of them. I think that every now and then, every adult should stop in the kid's section of a bookstore, pick up a picture book, and read it. As embarrassing as it may be, I still pick up a children's book from time to time to look at the pictures & journey through the words. ESCAPE!!! I know that you can escape through just about any fictional novel of your choice but then you're still just drifting into a world of adult situations. Escape to a world that reminds you of a time when you didn't stress, a time when you didn't have bills, a time when you weren't in a failing relationship, a time when you didn't wake up the next day feeling bad about the sex you had last night. Escape to a time of innocence. I plan to start collecting my favorite children's books for when I have my own babies. So far, I have a children's Bible guide and a truly marvelous collection of poems and drawings called "Falling Up" by Shel Silverstein. Now, Shel Silverstein's books are MAGNIFICENT!!! I recommend picking up one of his collections when you step over to the kid's section of the book store. I will share with you one of the poems in the book I purchased awhile back.

The Voice

There is a voice inside of you

That whispers all day long,

"I feel that this is right for me,

I know that this is wrong."

No teacher, preacher, parent, friend

Or wise man can decide

What's right for you - just listen to

The voice that speaks inside." -Shel Silverstein






Some may think that I am odd for being the way I am. But, I can't help it. I love make believe, I love art, I love kids, and I love acknowledging the kid within. It is for these reasons that I am in school to become an elementary school teacher. I feel like I have the abilities, the patience, and the will to help them want and love to learn. Now, I'm not a crazy loon. I know how to be an adult. I know how to take care of business and responsibilities. In other words, I know how to stress, worry, and work LoL. I just choose to ESCAPE from time to time. So, next time when you're in the presence of a child, turn off the TV and read them a story or encourage them to use their imagination and make up a story with you. Here's Hoping for The Best!

Luv, MeLi

In Deep

It's Bad Enough

It's bad enough that black people are still killing each other over colors in these streets and still fighting to be looked at as a human beings to some people who are yet unaccepting, but for a successful black man to put down another successful black man for no good reason is humiliating and absurd. I just heard the news today about the negative things that the director Spike Lee, said concerning famed/fellow director Tyler Perry. He insulted Mr. Perry's body of work saying that he is taking the black community back to the days of "Amos & Andy" (an old show which had white people in blackface). If Spike Lee doesn't KNOCK IT OFF!!!! He's a jealous little man. After all of the black drug heads and hoes that he's depicted in his films he needs to quit all that baby hollering and sit down somewhere. Don't insult someone because they're doing something you wish you were doing. Stop giving other races reasons to shake their heads at us. I'm so over people and their personal issues. Perhaps, Tyler Perry can let Spike Lee take a tour of his studio and give him an ice cream cone. If you want to know more details and perhaps see Perry's response, go to www.mwza.com. Here's Hoping for the Best! Luv, MeLi

There is a Difference

I have come to realize that there is a huge difference between just having sex and making love. Having sex can be rather impersonal. You don't look into each other's eyes, it can get started pretty quick, there's no kissing during "just sex" most of the time, you don't necessarily have to have feelings for the person, four-play is often excluded, and when it's over, it's over. But, making love? In its own way, it is a conversation without words. It is an expression of feelings. It's soft, sweet, slow, thoughtful, unselfish, romantic, magical.....I could go on and on. There's yearning, longing, giving, receiving, heat, desire, and passion. Believe it or not, it doesn't have to last long either. Just long enough to reach that peak. And when it's over, you feel like you've just built a wall around you two that no one can find the entrance to. I feel like the only way to truely make love is to be in love. If you're not in love, it's just sex. Not that sex isn't good. People who are in love have "just sex" most of the time. there isn't always enough time to slow things down. But, making love is GREAT!!! ...or so I believe. I honestly feel that I have yet to truely make love. I came close to it but there was no trust in the relationship. Almost doesn't count LoL. To feel the connection deep within my being. To have that experience with a man who I can trust with my heart, who is faithful to me, honest with me, knows me, longs for me, LOVES ME....I can imagine it will be an amazing experience. So, since I am in a new relationship with love all around it, I'm pretty certain that our day will come. Living in different states won't stop me. Nope! I'm going to have my magical moment. I'm going to turn that fumble into a touchdown! Here's Hoping for the Best. Luv, MeLi

It's Hard

It's Hard!!! I can recall a time when I didn't have to try on an outfit before buying it. I knew my size and how clothes fit my body so I would just see it and place it on the counter to purchase. But I lost myself. Between the years of 2003 and 2007, I became content in a relationship I was in & depressed because it was going down hill. All we ate was Mcdonald's and Pizza. Needless to say, I gained plenty a pound. I went from the girl all of his friends wished they had, to the girl with the amazing personality. I had an amazing personality before the weight (still do) but it's like weight is all people see. Our outward appearance is all people have to go by when they don't know us personally. I'm not extremely fat or anything but I look significantly different than I did a few years ago when I could stop a car passing by. LoL We all know that people judge. But, I've wanted to lose the extra weight for quite some time now, I just hadn't become committed mentally. This year (2010) I am making a Life Change. I have been exercising, eating healthy, and feeling good. But, it's freakin' hard to keep up with it I must say. Right now I could go for some fried chicken. Of course I won't do it, but it's heavy on the dome. I decided to blog about my "fried" thoughts to pass the time and hopefully ease the hunger pains. My mother suggests that I drink Apple Cider Vinegar to curb my appetite. I will. I am just trying to bring my sexy back as Justin Timberlake says. Well, Here's Hoping for the Best.
Luv, Meli