It's Possible

There are so many women (and men) with insecurities in this day and age. At the center of it all, we all want someone to be attracted to us and to love us for who we are. Often times, well let's face it, all of the time I hear people say, "you can't love someone if you don't love yourself." Now that may have some truth to it, and call me crazy, but I believe that it is very much possible to love someone without having love for yourself. I've often thought about this. First, I want to explore the meaning of love. From the dictionary the word Love is defined as having deep affection and warm feeling for another; a strong fondness; to like or desire enthusiastically. Just because you don't have a deep affection for yourself does not make it impossible to have those feelings for someone else. It's what makes us human. Love is a random emotion that though it may not have been there yesterday, it can very well be there today. When you love someone (romantically) you hope that no harm comes their way, take care of them when they're sick, hold them when they're in tears, long for his/her touch, and so forth and so on. All of which is very possible to do if you're not so fond of yourself. Of course it is wise to at least try to like yourself before giving out such a strong emotion as love. Love can drain you, if you're not strong enough to handle it. From experience, there was a period where I didn't love myself but it did not hinder my ability to love someone else. I was supportive, compassionate, kind, concerned, selfless, not jealous, pretty much everything one can be in a relationship where there's love involved. I just had a hard time accepting who I was personally. The guys before, received love that they let me know years later they regret straying away from. I loved in spite of my lack of fondness for myself. Other people just simply become more important. I'm not saying that everybody who's depressed or insecure should go out and start relationships. What I am trying to say is, if love was only reserved for the strong (people who love themselves) then who would be there to lift the unhappy/insecure folks off of the ground? Someone can love you enough to help you realize how great you are. I knew a woman, not close to me, who was down right almost ready to give up the ghost, when suddenly she met this man at her place of work. He showed her love and helped her to notice how amazing she truly was. I think where it gets hard is after the fact. If the relationship doesn't work out, and you don't love yourself, you blame yourself even if you've done nothing wrong. That's where the saying "you can't love someone until you love yourself" starts to make since to me. I know many will disagree and misunderstand this blog but I speak from experience. And my experience is only mine. No two experiences are exactly the same. I love myself now, but that doesn't mean I don't question some of the aspects of my personality like why am I so old fashioned at times (insert laugh here). In conclusion, it is possible to love if you don't love yourself but.....it's just better if you do. Here's Hoping for the Best! LuV, MeLi