Dreams/Nightmares

I dream a lot and when I dream, most of the time, it is very intense. I wake up in an anxiety attack more often than I should. Anyway, I know that there are some non-believers but from my personal experiences in life....there is a such as a GHOST. Growing up, my mother has told me that I apparently inherited my grandmother's ability to see people who have passed on. Unlike my grandmother though, I don't always see a clear image. A clear image is very rare from my view. I would mostly see dark shadows. The last dark shadow that I believe I have seen, has actually been about two years ago. A tall shadow of a man walked across the hallway of my house, exiting one wall and walking right into the other all while looking my way. With that being said, I had an awful dream last night, more like a nightmare. A friend of mine was murdered along with her cousin and they were both found naked. I went to visit her family to offer my condolences and she was there. She was walking around the house fully clothed and picking up items (money, pillows, toys, etc.). I didn't say anything until I was left alone. I asked her if she knew she was dead and she gave me a look that lead me to believe she had no idea. Everywhere I went, she showed up. In the kitchen, she handed me a knife. In the bedroom, she helped make the bed. Watching TV, she picked up a DVD. On the steps outside, she sat next to me not saying a word. So I asked her again, "Do you know that you're dead?" She then turned her head slowly towards me and replied, "Yes". I asked her why she wouldn't leave me alone and she said it was because she wasn't ready to go and since I'm the only one she knows who can see her, she's sticking with me. She said I made her feel alive and that she'll be around me forever. After that, I woke up with my heart nearly beating out of my chest. I know it doesn't seem like much, but the dream seemed to last so long. And it was terrifying because, I knew the woman. I know her now. The details about her and her life were so accurate and it felt too real. But, I have to let it go as I have done so in the past. They're just dreams. I just wish I knew someone who could interpret my dreams because I know they mean something underneath the horrible depictions. Here's Hoping for the Best! LuV, MeLi

Adventure

For reasons unknown, I love history. Old buildings, old music, classic movies, vintage clothing, etc. History is what brought us to where we are today. With that being said, I have always wanted to go on a road trip with a camper/trailer. More specifically, I've wanted to get my "kicks on Route 66". Every now and then I would imagine myself on Route 66 seeing all of the sights in my airstream trailer.
I've envisioned meeting people, eating at old diners, visiting museums, and so forth and so on. My major concern though, is how bad the world is today. I wouldn't want to be sleeping in my trailer and wake up to highway robbery. My worst fear is getting robbed, rapped, or seeing a UFO while I'm on my little road trip. So, if ever I do go, I must bring a man and possibly a weapon (insert nervous laugh here). Also, I fear coming across racism. I don't want to stop at a gas station where they despise "my kind". I mean as long as I'm not put in danger, they can stupidly hate me all they want (insert disappointed laugh here),just don't touch me! A road trip could be a great way to get to know someone better as well. A long trip like that will definitely bring out the real you after about a day or two stuck together in a car and a trailer. Hopefully one day, before I'm too old to handle it, I'll head out with someone (or some people) on that adventure. Here's Hoping for the Best! LuV, MeLi

Don't Do Her Any Favors!

I don't care if a woman is a virgin, took care of you when no one else would, ill, on her death bed, pregnant, and so forth and so on. Don't start a relationship with her if you know you're not ready for it. Don't give her the satisfaction of calling you her man if everybody else knows that you're Jane, Tasha, Sally, and Sue's man to. Don't do her any favors! True enough, some women do things for you just because they think that you're going to stick around, and yes sticking around may seem like the right thing to do. But, if you know that you're not going to be faithful and that your heart isn't going to be in it, don't do her any favors! If you get a female pregnant, yes, the right thing to do would be to MARRY her. But, if you know you're not ready for marriage and your lives are going to be miserable, Don't Do Her Any Favors! See, it seems like men often times fail to realize that, just like they can leave.....so can we. Staying with you is a choice. Many women choose to stay with a man who is doing them wrong because they are "in love". But, no matter how much in love she thinks she is, by that point I'd say that she's in denial. I've been through it and I know I was in denial. You can't truly love someone who is being terrible to you. You can have love for them, but "in love" suddenly becomes a joke. Women have a tendency to think with our emotions and we think we love someone who is terrible to us, because we don't want anyone else or we're thinking of how great it used to be. It may have started off great. But, by the time he stops calling, stops answering your calls, starts being caught with other women,etc. a female is now at the point where she just doesn't want to give up. The love is fading and it's turning into a game of "How Long Can I Stay?" Suddenly, it is now a competition. The relationship has become a battle that women do not want to lose. They don't want to have to say that they put up with the mess for so long and for nothing. It also becomes a challenge against the other women. Jealousy rears its ugly head. A game of "He's my man, not yours!" Trust and believe ladies, if your man is cheating, then he's not your man. Men tend to put a woman through hell just because he can, just because you let him. They know that women tend to be more sensitive and most likely to stay and forgive their bullsh*t. I know that most men keep a girl around because deep down he doesn't want another man to have her. So, he wants his cake but he wants to eat it to. SELFISH!!!! Bottom line is, if you're not going to be a real man to your woman......DON'T DO HER ANY FAVORS!!! Let her be free to find a man who will. And the same goes for some women. If you just like to go out and be flirty and see how much attention you can get from men, don't have a boyfriend. DON'T DO HIM ANY FAVORS!!! He will be better of without you. Men, she will be better off without you. But, in some cases there are relationships that start off as favors and it works. But, those are rare. I know for a fact that this cycle will continue. I just wanted to say what was on my mind. Through most of my relationships, I have told the dude to let me know if he's lost interest so that I wouldn't have to go through cheating and distrust and he wouldn't have to go through lying and guilt. Of course, they didn't do as I requested because they wanted the "wifey" type at home and not give another man a chance at a woman so great. So, they cheated anyway with the mind set that I wasn't going anywhere. Don't Do Me Any Favors!!! Now, in some cases mistakes are made and all is forgiven with the intent on making it right. But, I'm just talking about the people who do favor after favor either to benefit themselves or to shut their partner up. I say again, "Don't Do Him/Her Any Favors!" If you're in a relationship, make sure you actually want to be in it and you're not doing it to please your woman/man. Here's Hoping for the Best! LuV, MeLi

It's Possible

There are so many women (and men) with insecurities in this day and age. At the center of it all, we all want someone to be attracted to us and to love us for who we are. Often times, well let's face it, all of the time I hear people say, "you can't love someone if you don't love yourself." Now that may have some truth to it, and call me crazy, but I believe that it is very much possible to love someone without having love for yourself. I've often thought about this. First, I want to explore the meaning of love. From the dictionary the word Love is defined as having deep affection and warm feeling for another; a strong fondness; to like or desire enthusiastically. Just because you don't have a deep affection for yourself does not make it impossible to have those feelings for someone else. It's what makes us human. Love is a random emotion that though it may not have been there yesterday, it can very well be there today. When you love someone (romantically) you hope that no harm comes their way, take care of them when they're sick, hold them when they're in tears, long for his/her touch, and so forth and so on. All of which is very possible to do if you're not so fond of yourself. Of course it is wise to at least try to like yourself before giving out such a strong emotion as love. Love can drain you, if you're not strong enough to handle it. From experience, there was a period where I didn't love myself but it did not hinder my ability to love someone else. I was supportive, compassionate, kind, concerned, selfless, not jealous, pretty much everything one can be in a relationship where there's love involved. I just had a hard time accepting who I was personally. The guys before, received love that they let me know years later they regret straying away from. I loved in spite of my lack of fondness for myself. Other people just simply become more important. I'm not saying that everybody who's depressed or insecure should go out and start relationships. What I am trying to say is, if love was only reserved for the strong (people who love themselves) then who would be there to lift the unhappy/insecure folks off of the ground? Someone can love you enough to help you realize how great you are. I knew a woman, not close to me, who was down right almost ready to give up the ghost, when suddenly she met this man at her place of work. He showed her love and helped her to notice how amazing she truly was. I think where it gets hard is after the fact. If the relationship doesn't work out, and you don't love yourself, you blame yourself even if you've done nothing wrong. That's where the saying "you can't love someone until you love yourself" starts to make since to me. I know many will disagree and misunderstand this blog but I speak from experience. And my experience is only mine. No two experiences are exactly the same. I love myself now, but that doesn't mean I don't question some of the aspects of my personality like why am I so old fashioned at times (insert laugh here). In conclusion, it is possible to love if you don't love yourself but.....it's just better if you do. Here's Hoping for the Best! LuV, MeLi

Like a Sponge

Walking into Sprint one day, I overheard a grandmother fussing at her grandchild. "Didn't I tell you to stop slamming my goddamn car door? If you break my window I swear I'm gonna break your ass with my fuckin' foot." I cringed at the words that were coming out of her mouth, speaking to a child of no more than five years of age. I thought to myself, if this is how the grandmother talks, how must the mother communicate with this child? Why is it that so many people, and I see this more in minorities, cuss out there children? I'm not saying that White people don't do it as well, but I see it more from my experiences, with Blacks and Spanish folks. I mean they're just kids. Kids are naturally curious because they begin learning from the moment they're born, if not sooner. They say a baby knows who to be comfortable with from the voices he/she hears frequently through the womb. The way that children view the world starts from home. If you're racist, your child will most likely be also unless he/she grows up and eventually allows his/her mind to open up to the world. If all they keep seeing you do when you get angry is yell and cuss up a storm, they're going to think that that is the way to act when they get angry themselves. So, the world ends up with yet another out of control child/teen. Also, don't show favoritism. Kids can feel when you favor one child over the other. Treat them all the same. One child shouldn't feel any less cared for than the other. Another example is when the child is always seeing mommy and daddy fight. Mothers, when you talk down to your kids about their fathers (or vice versa) they begin to feel the way you do. Their fathers aren't getting a fair chance to receive love from them because they keep hearing you call their daddy "no good". They may have been "no good" as your man, but it doesn't mean that they're going to be a "no good" father. And men stop calling the mother of your child/children out of her name. Teach your sons to not disrespect women and show your daughters how a man is supposed to treat her. Parents, Be Good Examples!!! Mothers teach your girls to be ladies. Let them know that they don't have to go out of the house half naked to get a man. Half the time they'll attract the wrong one that way anyhow. Men teach your sons to leave the good girls alone if all he wants is sex from them. There would be a little less hurt in the long run. So, all I'm trying to say is that if you smoke, drink, do drugs, have sex with different people every week, disrespect your husband/wife, yell and cuss every time something goes wrong,etc. in front of your kids they are going to grow up acting the way they've seen you act. When parents act like they don't have any sense, it forces the child to go into two directions: 1) the child is forced to grow up too fast or 2) he/she falls right into the cycle. Some may be lucky and realize early on that they don't want to be anything like you. But, wouldn't that hurt to hear your child say that? I mean , to want to be NOTHING like you at all? I don't know about you but, it would hurt me. Don't talk to them like they're 30 when they're only 3. Teach them love, respect, kindness, compassion, etc. not bitterness, anger, whores, and thugs. And of course we know, that we can teach them all we know but they still have to lead their own lives, but it's good to know that somewhere in their minds are the things you taught them. A better future starts with our kids. "Train up a child in the way that he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" -Proverbs 22:6 >>Here's hoping for the best! LuV, MeLi